Untitled First Album

My first album will be very autobiographical. A reflection on my life, from the childhood I spent traveling the world, to these teenage years I've spent hiding from the world inside my room as I wither away from male puberty.

Audio is the clothing I want this story to wear, because my memories are simply too vague for any other medium to do. My youth has largely been spent on disassociation, which I feel has severely disconnected me from my past self. How much of my recollections have been slurred together, or ever really happened?

I arrived at music, despite having less experience with making it than most other things I know how to make, after accepting that none of those other things could possibly work out. I don't really know how I'd adapt these fragmented vignettes into something both playable and cohesive, as game design always seems to demand concrete, singluar, focused player verbs from me. So I've decided not to use my favorite medium for this one.

While I intend to create visual art to accompany every track, a series of surreal sights alone doesn't feel like enough to do what memories I have justice, even though my memories are mostly comprised of such sights.

I'm definitely not able to write an autobiography with my memory in this state, but writing does lend itself better to ambiguity than games and visuals. However, prose alone hasn't ever made me feel the things I want this project to make other people feel. Sound alone has, but using instrumentals alone would be too ambiguous!

So, I'm going to combine audio, prose, and visuals together into an album.

Memories

2024-07-28: i really wanna record myself singing the lyrics for all these songs of mine but i dont have a safe way of doing that in this house and also the audio quality would be shit and the lyrics are shit and also my singing is shit and also i sound like a boy and (Source)