var names = ["Alonzo", "Alf", "Atticus", "Adrian", "Adam", "Abel", "Bob", "Benny", "Benjamin", "Bertie", "Bloke", "Buck", "Clive", "Clinton", "Chuck", "Clay", "Charles", "Clint", "Denny", "Dan", "Duke", "Derek", "Danny", "Douglas", "Ebenzer", "Edward", "Eddington", "Ed", "Eddie", "Elon", "Frank", "Frankie", "Fred", "Finn", "Filipe", "Frodo", "Ginovancci", "Goodman", "Greg", "Gregory", "George", "Georgie", "Harry", "Harold", "Houdini", "Harley", "Hamilton", "Hamill", "Icarus", "Isacc", "Ike", "Ivan", "Ironic", "Ian", "Jackson", "Jak", "Jacob", "John", "James", "Jackie", "King", "Kingie", "Kid", "Kris", "Ken", "Kurt", "Linus", "Linux", "Lange", "Len", "Larry", "Lenny", "Moody", "Marlin", "Marvel", "Madman", "Melvin", "Marley"];
  var weapons = ["dagger", "spear", "trident", "sword", "scimitar", "stick", "club", "mace", "axe", "knife", "sickle", "war scythe", "katana", "fistful of air", "deadly chicken", "lead pipe", "whip", "claws", "brass knuckles", "deadly intellect", "sledgehammer", "nail", "scissors", "letter opener", "rocket arm", "butcher knife", "brick", "fishing rod", "baseball bat", "pet dog", "sister's doll", "pen", "heavy book", "boxing gloves", "chair", "wrench", "lamp", "pillow", "broadsword", "mop", "selfie stick", "cat o'nine tails", "cutlass", "lazer sword", "wine glass"];
  var armor = ["basic tunic", "suit of chainmail armor", "loincloth", "robe", "ninja outfit", "Hawaiian tourist outfit", "muscle shirt", "suit and sunglasses", "lobster costume", "large bronze helmet", " suit of body padding", "halloween costume", "birthday suit", "hamster ball", "mascot costume", "something that the fashion police will hate", "astronaut suit", " set of normal clothes", "expensive suit", "mysterious mask", "towel", "santa suit", "football player suit", "clown outfit", "trash can", "cowboy suit", "suit of samurai armor", "suit of plate armor", "kimono", "viking costume", "pirate outfit"];
  var misses = ["bash", "swing", "stab", "clip", "conk", "swat", "slash", "smash", "swish", "knock", "sink", "rush", "cut", "hit"];
  var attacks = ["bashes", "swings", "stabs", "clips", "conks", "swats", "slashes", "smashes", "swishes", "knocks", "sinks", "rushes", "cuts", "hits"];
  var dodges = ["quickly dodges</span> the assault.", "runs off</span> like a coward.", "swiftly spins</span> out of range.", "jumps over</span> the weapon.", "rolls under</span> his attacker before getting hit.", "ducks</span> as fast as he can.", "blocks</span> the hit with the force.", "flips away</span> from his attacker as fast as he can.", "swiftly moonwalks</span> away from his attacker.", "blocks</span> the attack with his weapon.", "shrieks</span> and speeds off before he hits.", "dodges</span> the attack like a action hero.", "frontflips</span> over his attacker.", "jumps</span> to the side.", "does something amazing</span> to get away.", "plays dead.</span>"];
  var parts = ["torso", "head", "leg", "arm", "hand", "foot", "rear end", "neck", "forehead", "pinkie", "kneecap", "shoulder", "elbow", "chest"];
  var saying = ["Prepare to die, loser!", "Even my grandmother can beat you!", "Wow! This gladiator tourist attraction must be VERY realistic!", "Give up right now or face my FURY!", "You don't have much muscle, do you?", "I'M GONNA CRUSH YOU!", "Are you a dog that you come at me with a stick?", "And why exactly do I have to fight losers?", "Yer a loser, yer a loser!", "Your arrogance will lead to your demise, fool!", "Hey crowd, you should know that I AM going to win this!", "I EAT LOSERS FOR BREAKFAST!", "Give up, sloth breath!", "You still think you can beat me? HAH.", "Pathetic mortal!", "MU5T T3RM1NATE ALl HUMAN5", "I am your master now, fool!", "It isn't worth it. For you!", "Wanna know how many other people I've beaten before you?", "I smirk in your general direction!", "Aww... he wants to hit me!", "You call that a weapon!?", "You are SO cowardly!", "Are you sure you know how to use that!?", "Sorry, just can't help being the BEST!", "Why you hittin' yourself?", "Your facial hair looks bad!", "IMMA GONNA KNOCK YO TEETH OUT!", "You aren't the sharpest pencil in the... box of pencils!", "Your armor isn't gonna protect you from THIS!", "I clearly went to a better school than you!", "Your outfit is hideous!", "Just die already!", "Can't touch this, can't touch this!", "You aren't even close to beating me!", "LOL!", "Over there! Your tourist group!", "DIE!", "Get a load of THIS!", "Bye bye!", "Poor baby!", "En garde, coward!", "What's wrong? Can't beat me?", "I am untouchable, fool!", "You're going DOWN!", "Hah, you are wimp. Hah hah.", "Surrender, fool!"];
  var victory = ["doing a victory dance!", "screaming at the top of his lungs!", "making a mean remark on the absence of a trophy!", "asking where his tourist group went!", "collecting valubles from the crowd!", "drumming on his belly!", "singing about how awesome he is!", "stepping on his opponent!", "forcing the audience to be his slaves!", "T3RMINATIN6 A1L HUMAN5", "not knowing how to celebrate!"];
  var defeat = [" is fatally wounded! He falls over, dead.", " is killed by the blow!", "'s bones are shattered! He falls over, dead.", " sticks his hands up in surrender!", " collapses over, dead!", " kneels before his opponet and surrenders!", " is knocked unconsious and is quickly executed by his enemy!", " is flung into the side of the arena and dies!", " is knocked unconsious!", " is obliterated by the hit!", " is speared on his enemy's weapon!", " can't take it anymore and gives up!"];